“Recovery from illness often seems like beginning life all over again.”
— Cornelia Meigs
power of forgiveness in healing
I am mixed on this issue. I think some people jump too quickly into forgiveness before actually airing out their anger. Anger is as much part of the healthy expression of one’s feelings as are happiness, forgiveness, and joy. If a person chooses forgiveness, it must be an honest choice and not a blanket thrown over their anger – like trying to smother a smoldering fire.
BUT there comes a time when you fan the flames with your anger so much that you risk your own engulfment in it. If this happens – if you spend so much time being angry that you are harming yourself, it is time to let go and choose a path toward forgiveness.
There is much to be said about the definition of resentment (or holding onto anger). It truly is that it is like ‘drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.’ If you find yourself in that scenario, it is time to get out of that pattern and choose instead to 1) have a healthy expression of anger, 2) make the decision that you’ve been angry enough (and have been heard), and then 3) let go. Too many of us forget that all three pieces of this are important.
By Christine Traxler
My first husband was an alcoholic and died. Being a single mum with two small children and money worries was challenging. Needless to say, in meditation this bit of my past also came up and I found myself mentally ranting at my first husband. “You were so selfish. Why did you die and leave your children fatherless? Why didn’t you sort yourself out… have counselling or go into rehab?” And so on. And in my mind, I could see my first husband just standing there. Not saying anything. Eventually, much to my surprise, he spoke to me (in my mind, in meditation!). It was very real. He said sorry. That he had lost his way. And in that moment, I forgave him. What surprised me was how easy it was to forgive him. In that altered state, it was effortless. How could I Not Forgive someone who had lost their way? I felt a lot of compassion for him in that moment and the past just didn’t seem to matter anymore.
By Debbie Viggiano
